TT.TT

met my ex-classmates todae.. They are all doing great, got to some best universities around here.. Good for them! It feels good to be back here and see how our frenz have changed.. wanna be a part of them.. but things do not always go the way they used to.. Different ppl, different lives, different perspectives.. said hi to this friend of mine who was rather special to me during years of secondary school.. well yeah, he's going to get married next year =)) who knows huh? things are juz changing super fast that we can't even recognize.. Cant seem to read what our used-to-be close frenz are thinking any more.. It's got to be very hard to know the whole world huh (=
haiz I should've been happy about this, shouldn't I? About people around us doing great and all.. although it's kinda sad.. 4,5 yrs together and some 15 yrs, now each of us has to go our own way.. Dunno what's gonna happen to us, good or bad? happy or sad at that lone place? well, all gotta walk on our own feet at the end of the day anyway.. =) but we all gotta keep those sweetest memories in our hearts this lifetime..

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

Hehe it's November and this song juz keeps popping up =)

yay

FREAKING UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO MORE TESTS WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hmm shall juz crap out the Chem analysis later and things are done...
=( so sad noone wanna go to Funan with me tonite, so probably gonna get my ipod tmr then (=

that's the way

too disappointed at the maths paper todae.. No tricks, repeating, too guided, not challenging at all..
Chem was quite okay I think.. HAHAHA 5 killed... 2 more to fight with.. After tmr, I can go to sleep at 9 everyday =p
Well, stop crapping.. My mind is full of Bio now!!! wahaha.. make use of my short term memory, do very well for tests and juz forget about it.. Who cares..

screwed

SCREW EVERYTHING!!!!!
Arg so pissed off.. shall go and sleep.. dream of my Nano...

wow headache has gone.. I feel much better todae, all thanx to Linh's effaralgan... Although it tasted damn disgusting (could only take 1 sip haha), it's super effective.. Damn scared coz the whole yesterday, I didn't do anything at all except for sleep, sleep and sleep.. For almost 16 hours long haha.. scary..
Anyway, g2g and mug hard now.. Gotta finish physics, chem and 2 maths by todae, if not, I shall treat myself to sleep wahaha.. Still got Econs and LA left.. Haiz.. But not to worry, things are going alright and i'm doing fine, as long as the headache does not return :(
P/s: a few more days until the Ipod Nano is in my hand =))

arg

Haiz what's wrong with school computer? can't even open the damn Friendster page.. Hehe in Bytz now, going to have Maths test in half an hour.. =(god, I'm so bored, everybody is like doing maths right now.. That's why I ran away =)).. Ok shall stop here.. Gonna eat lunch first...

oh no

yesterday was FUN! Quite fun actually haha! During the stressful weeks, I totally forgot about booking the function room for 2/9, that's why 1 day before the actual day, I was rushing like crazy and they only allowed us to celebrate from 10 to 1am.. Then yesterday, the most stupid part that I had to do was running around, calling dunno how many people juz to collect money to buy food and drinks.. And everybody was all like "NO MONEY!!!".. Fine! They all wanna join the celebration and yet, didn't noe how to make things easier for me!!!! The next moment, Tu gave me 50S$, so I decided to go and buy the birthday cake first.. All de way to Orchard hixhix.. By the time I got back, it was already 10 and everybody was still out of sight.. Haha..
Anyway, the celebration was fun.. While looking at the red flag with a yellow star rising, we sang our national anthem, shouted the pledge and.. clap :)).. Then we blowed the candles and ate the cake.. It was a very small cake actually, but I thought it would be fun to eat like that, reminiscing the days of 1945, so I bought it haha.. However, yes however, 25 people is really a very large number and by the time we formed a circle big enough for everybody to look at the cake, the cake now was juz like THAP RUA at the centre of Sword Lake (or rather, at the centre of Hanoi) =)).. Damn funny!!!
Then after eating, we played the "terrorism" game, AGAIN!!! The game goes like this: we number among ourselves first.. and then someone will start the game by shouting out a number randomly, the person who has juz been called muz shout out another number before the 2 people next to him/her are fast enough to cover his mouth and stop him from shouting.. This person will have to forfeit if the number he/she shouts out is either the one next to him or the one who has juz called his number.. Yah the game goes on like this until there're about 5 people forfeiting haha.. My senior was damn fast.. I couldn't have time to react or say anything except for screaming =)), damn fun! Then those forfeiters will have to do what other people want them to do :D.. Blah blah blah.. this part was quite stupid hix..
After that, we paired up, one person carried her/his partners and fighted against other pairs.. Hmm Va^n carried me on her back, we were both ready to fight.. But, the other pair was too strong, 2 guys :D.. They pushed me off my partner and I fell down, juz like a HEROINE hehe.. But my whole body is aching a lot right now... slept for almost 12 hours today.. deprived of handphone some more.. BORED!!!!!

last day in school

what the hell!!! I juz pressed wrongly and the whole damn long post is gone.. =((
Anyway, I'm in school now for the passion pursuit day.. Hmm attended the DJ and MTV session which was not much different from the one during enrichment week.. wasted my time.. After that we went to the book fair.. all the good books were gone by that time :((.. Then I juz grabbed 4 random books for only 2 dollars.. That's quite a good deal though.. And now I'm in class, using someone's laptop, listening to the limited music library in my school account hehe.. Gosh they are playing BRIDGE again!!!!!!!!! I still couldn't know how the hell to grasp the first part of this freaking game man, bidding... Everytime they explain it to me, I'm like WTH??? Haha am I really that stupid??? Actually I'm not that interested in this kind of gambling though.. IT'S ILLEGAL!!! Haha, Lee Ping, you hear me??? YOU!!! INSULTED ME JUZ NOW!!! B-) LAUGHING AT ME LIKE THAT!!! GO EAT SHIT!!! Haha..
Anyway, I'm thinking of joining Band next year, should I?? should I?? Stupid Lee Ping, who told you to be unfaithful to your school's band and seniors?? huh huh?? But if I join, muz teach me kae!!!! Ask ur old frenz also :p
Hehe okie, gotta go now.. Meet MOE for the air-ticket issue.. Yay, 2 more months only.. Bye..

Oh yah, 1 more thing.. HAPPY VIETNAM'S NATIONAL DAY!!!!!!

hello

hello I'm back.. after all those weeks I had to suffer.. but I went through them all.. I knew I could do it.. and I was right... no matter what they say.. no matter what they think about me.. whether I'm "blur" or such a coward or whatever, it's up to them... I know my own self more than anyone else in this world.. but when there's something gained, something else is lost.. that's true.. all those efficiency, responsibility... for nothing.. exhausted.. suffer from insomnia.. problems with best frenz.. classmates become more and more irritating :((.. inferior... lost... was my decision to come here a good choice, I'm still trying to find the answer.. then they say that I am a directionless person, I'm a whatever freak, I never think when I say something.. well come on, juz leave me alone.. mind ur own business.. I need more time.. those words are not gonna work it out for me.. only make me feel depressed even more.. wanna see my mom so badly.. wanna talk to her more than ever before.. but I'm scared I'll break down in front of her.. for the second time.. remind me of last year.. december.. it was raining outside.. and she sat stunned, staring at me.. I really dun want that moment to happen again.. but noone else wanna listen to me anymore..

"In The End"

(It starts with)
One thing, I don ’ t know why
It doesn ’ t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn ’ t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn ' t even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn ’ t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn ’ t even matter

Bored!

Shoot!!! I'm so bored!!! Got so many things to do, yet I'm still not in the mood!!!!!!!
Gosh, should I go to the gym now? Gotta run a few km to warm myself up and get into the MOOD..
Bye.

Quite fun day

Bleah today is okay!!!! Tennis was fun!!! Hope Mr Tong will teach us how to serve properly next week, otherwise, all the balls that I hit will juz fly off the court :))
Oh today when we played 3-3, I was trying to serve the ball in badminton's way :(. Noe how scary it was when I almost broke my right arm? Dunno why I hit the ball so hard, then the racquet which had juz gained momentum wanted to fly away and pulled my arm along!!! Will never do that again man!!
But overall, it was fun!! We'll do tennis for the next 4 weeks! Great!!

Shit

:((:((:((:((:(( I spent almost one whole day studying (or should it rather be called "wasted") :((:((:(( and what will I get in return???
:((:(( I really screwed up my History paper today, 45 minutes was spent on copying out stupid facts from my stupid help sheet and staring at the teacher :((.. I studied.. everything except for the political parts, 20 DAMN-LONG PAGES and hur hur, 3/4 of the questions today were on POLITICAL causes.. I felt damn sad man, I had made a 2-sided helpsheet WITHOUT political parts yesterday juz to find out early this morning that only 1 side was to be allowed.. Well, I decided to make another one with amost everything squeezed inside it, EXCEPT, yes except "THAT PART"... Coz I didn't have enough time :((.. Then it was time.. And now I noe I've juz failed my test :((.. It's 40% some more..
Well, come to think of it, I shouldn't be too worried about this since I'm not gonna take His next year A N Y W A Y... It will only affect my GPA :(, hmm dun care lol..

One more annoying thing for today: this is the dunnohowmany time I've been in the same group with THAT PERSON :((.. How did THEY arrange the groups for physics anyway? The moment I looked at the list, I knew right away it's not random at all! And I belong to the last group, with that last person :(.. I really wanna cry right now, not because I'm in the same group with him (he's not that irresponsible anyway) but because I have come to realize that I'm so NOT wanted :(.. They dun even care about what I want or whether I mind as they do or not, and certainly they wanna be in their own cliques.. Well, I hope this year 2 will end faster, so that I can choose to do something that I like and won't have to do all this kind of group work... It will be more stressful I guess, but at least it will give me the feeling of satisfaction since I HAVE DONE IT BY MYSELF...
Sometimes I juz have the only wish that my four bestfriends could be here, right here, with me.. I won't have to bear that feeling of being left alone or whatsoever.. Yea, our gang rox, remember!!

HOMESICK!!!

I wanna go back so badly :((.. I wanna see my grandparents, my dad, my bro and my mom especially:((

Holz is over :((

Holz is finally over :((, is this even real????
Hix it also means that i gotta get back to the studying mood with all the tests and assignments coming up.. Time flies man...
Yesterday was the last day of enrichment weeks, and guess what, we went to school 4 kite making in the morning and in the afternoon, the whole IP cohort gathered at East Coast Park to fly kite :)) and play.. Haha after so much effort put in, we broke our kite, juz in a split second :)) and it couldn't fly eventually, duh!! Oh there's this very smart group, they tied 2 helium balloons to their kite and of course, it could juz fly without them flying it, :)) smart gals.. yeah then after getting bored trying to fly our kite in vain, we decided to go cycling.. I hadn't even realized that I was wearing skirt until we all paid for the bicycles hahax but who cared??? :D Yup, it was quite embarrassing, u noe, haha, for asking around whether they brought extra shorts :)).. Anyway, it was so so fun after such a long time I haven't cycled (didn't even touch my bicycle at all during the whole June holiday lolz).. Then, we saw our dear grand senior and my classmates back home, yup, they all got in NUS and juz came last week.. I feel so guitly for not having a second to talk to them properly..

juz feel like blogging todae :D

I'm eating chocolate again :)) but this time it's liqueur hehe, hope I'm not gonna get drunk..
Hax got up at 12 noon with my stomach totally empty.. I had felt like choking when I was about to sleep last night grrrr.. Yesterday I went out with Tu n her mom and some frenz to Nite Safari and we didn't even have a proper dinner except for some cheese fries in KFC hix.. Oh yeah, the Night Safari Tram Ride is SO COOOOL.. Yea, it's juz like visiting the zoo at night but not on ur own feet haha, it's super dark and quite scary actually :D.. Hmm but no matter how interesting it was, I still dun like those animals, I'm, to be honest, scared of all kinds of animals :(( It's still a zoo anyway and to spend S$24 for this is quite worthless, at least to me hehe..
Well, my birthday is coming.. Let's see how exciting it can get :D.. Yay, my parents allow me to buy a new MP3 (actually I used to have CD player haha) but I'm still thinkin whether I should buy Zen Micro 5GB- S$350 or Ipod Photo 20GB- S$528 :((.. Ipod seems to be less expensive if you look at it thoroughly.. I think I should buy something that I won't regret :D coz I always hunger for more haha, so maybe Ipod photo would be a good deal??? yeah 1 more week to decide.. Hix if I buy Ipod, I'll need to be very careful with my money from now on :(, need to buy a new phone end of this yr also (my phone spoilt already) and I really dun wanna ask my parents for money (how could I myself spend so much money within 2 years, gosh).. Luckily, MOE will provide air tickets for us, that's great!!!!
Hax, okie, got a number of things to do todae, I'd better quickly get on my feet now..

Enrichment weeks!!

Yep, I noe I haven't blogged for such a freaking long time..
Well, my holiday was kinda great, hanging out with my pals a lot, finally we have pictures of all 5 of us hehe..
Anyway, I finally got back to Singapore like 3 weeks ago :)).. It's the first week of enrichment weeks now and I feel so slacked.. I've started to have a really unhealthy lifestyle recently.. I sleep only about 4 hours a day :D.. There were times I didn't even sleep at all but slacked around with my laptop.. Haha I bet noone else but me in the hostel were awake throughout the night..

I hate to say this again but it's my fault for not showing my true feelings about someone or something, as well as for keeping them from understanding me better :((.. But there's nothing I can do.. Things aren't what you want them to be.. Sweetness can always turn into bitterness.. And this is really painful to me..

Sorry, sometimes I cry juz becoz I'm so pissed with myself, I hate me for always trying to understand something in a completely different way and always trying to hide my feelings for some reasons I don't even understand..

wa so fun!!!

I'm in an extremely good mood today!!!!
The scholars are gonna go to Marche' for Tina's birthday tonite..
Then later at 10, we'll celebrate birthday for another person, Big Brother.. Oh man!!!
Yea, n guess what, Phoebe and I are gonna have a sleepover at Jia Yun's house tmr also... Well, things are getting brighter!!!! Right now, I'm juz extremely excited to see my dear mom and brother coming here next week!!! And will get to see all my best friends soon!!! Oh My God, I can't believe it.. I miss them so much.. If i am not going home this June, dunno when all of us are gonna meet again..
Oh yesterday, there was this horoscope advertisement on Friendster, hehe, being quite curious because it asked me to choose one aspect that i'm most concerned with.. Yeah, I chose DIRECTION IN LIFE!!!
Well, it's true.. I desperately need help since I have absolutely no idea what I want to be in the future and what my goals in life are... And this morning, someone replied to me and said that I would experience a revelation this year, 2005.. This revelation, according to her, is one which I have been waiting for and will permit me to discover the most important path for me in my life.. Well, dunno why I kinda believe her ya noe..

I'll paste 1 part of what she said here:

So let me tell you now exactly what all this is
about and why 2005 will mark the beginning of a
brand new cycle in your life. I did in fact
immediately perceive that you are much more than you
think you are. Let me explain myself,  I have
discovered that you have immense ressources within
yourself which are unfortunately unexploited because
of certain doubts and uncertainties which you
have deep within you. This is a real shame and a
waste of these valuable qualites of yours. Your
hidden talents seem to be stronger and more powerful
than in most of the people who come to see me.
You also have another powerful tool which could be
a major bonus for you Ngoc anh but for the moment
it turns against you as it is transformed  from a
great sensibility to doubt and incertitude.....

In the end, she told me she would help me with another reading but I figured out later on that I need to pay some amt of money..
Wa lao, how could she do this to me.. She hurt my feeling :(.. I trusted her but then :((... Juz like all other advertisements, all of a sudden, giving me a feeling of hope, and then stealing it away from me... :((

Anyway, I'm gonna find out by myself.. by the end of this year...

nice day!!!

Yay, juz finished chemical bonding, carbohydrates and lipids... Still have 2 more to go, Proteins and Water which are both too cheem to understand..
Well, today is a nice day btw.. It's raining outside n i'm mugging inside haha, with music n friends talking crap beside me..
Haha i'm not gonna complain abt mugging any more.. Cos it doesn't matter anyway.. 2 more weeks then I shall go home.. Yay.. Gtg n finish waht i'm doing.. Still got the stoopid investiture rehearsal tonite!!!!
Bye...

MUGGGGGG

Oh no, I start to hate mugging alr.. When I mug, I always feel that i will never finish even 1 subject.. :(( dunno why.. Juz feel like doing everything all over again.. And scared that i'm gonna fail every subject.. DAMN!!!
I hate mugging in the hostel.. My room is not ideal for studying la.. It's too hot n suffocating..
This is what I do when i mug.. First, clear my messy table (put the laptop n stuff on the bed), sit down, open my notes, n start reading... Then after abt 15 mins, I start to feel dizzy, I decided to clear my bed (put the laptop n stuff on the table), lie down, still holding notes in hands.... And 3 hours later, wake up n know that i have juz had a good sleep.. wa.. how to mug...
I hate study room also because there are too many ppl inside n the atmosphere is, gosh, scary.. Everybody is mugging like they have never done it before... It's not conducive at all, really...
The most conducive place, to me, is where there's music, not so cold, not so hot n there's nobody around.. Hate ppl walking around, slamming the door real hard and ppl who juz kept talking while someone's doing her work...
Haiz, today is one of the few days this term that I really sat down and mugged.. Afternoon went to KAP with Amy, Kaiyun, Tu, KK, Joseph, Wenhao for a mass mugging session.. But still not effective though..
Anyway, I shall stop crapping now... Gotta eat sth, too hungry :(
Bibo..

Oh Bioorg sucks...

WOW

Wow, this news is surprising....
According to Mr Koh, this is the first time in history that NJC Guitar Group has achieved a GOLD for SYF... Ohmygod, that is so cooooooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I muz also admit that Guitar this year (dunno abt last year) has a lot of talented people, both guys and girls (it seems quite obvious that I'm not among this group haha)... Well, I'm proud of you all!!!
Hax, so sad I couldn't come for the Guitar camp this June.. If not becoz I have alr bought my tickets, I might have postponed my flight to another day alr.. Anyway, have fun guys...
I'll try to make friends with the J1 next term then...

...

To someone really annoying recently, can u juz shut up for a while? Do your work!!! I know you r smart and I AM NOT... But it doesn't mean that u can always talk to me like that okay... Why can't u juz leave me alone!!! I've thought u r funny n juz being so childish, to tell u the truth, I'm being too irritated by you alr.. U r the only person that I can easily get pissed off... Nvm, I shall shut up now.. Some ppl said I changed too much, well, I can't help it... Sorry...

Half day.... errrrrrrrrr

I couldn't believe that we only had 1 short half day after so many golds and golds with honors like that.. And it was not even a half day lol, funny how ppl went for SYF, achieving something great. In the end, other people had a chance to slack while they themselves had to go for practice... That's so not fair..

Anyway, I'm having my LA presentation and IH data response questions tmr... Hahax found a Mercedes-Benz Ad and juz crapped on that, hehe thx Malvika btw, for staying back with me after school (even though it was a half day) and giving me crash course for IH.. I've been sleeping in Mr Barber's class almost every single lesson, haiz, sorry..

You know, I had this very nicely-written Assessment Week planning from now until end of week 10.. But noe what, the number of ticks has been reduced, n at the end of the day, I feel that I'm crossing all my plans out instead of putting a really big tick next to each.. :

I wanna go for rollerblading during Enrichment weeks, hixhix, but it's like $60 man... Okae, shall save money for this whole year.. Mum n Dad, dun worry, I'm not gonna ask for more money this year.. I shall be a good girl *put on an act*..

Thursday, 05/05/2005

Wow.. Thursday 05/05/05 happens once in 7000 years ya noe..
I think it's very special and was using maths to explain to my classmates how special it is, but they were all like "Stop it!!!" or "Go away with your Maths!!".. Hahax noone can appreciate it, sad!!!!
And don't they know that Friday next week will be Friday the 13th...
Erm I'm crapping haha..
Gtg.

Long weekend!!!

Labour Day.. Nothing much happened..
I did absolutely nothing rather than sleep and struggle with this stoopid RAFT assignment...
What a nonsense!!! Creating a movie on how electrons move in a circuit haha... The concepts are so simple, yet it's still so hard to make such a documentary movie.. Know what I did? Erm add stoopid pictures with stoopid titles, and then record my own voice explaining all those things... So stooooooopid!!!!!!!!
Nvm, it's better than writing a boring article or create a poem or song.. I'm not that art-inclined man...
Anyway, will try to get over and done with it by tonight, so that I can go out in peace tmr hahax...
Ms Ng n Mr Koh are gonna treat us lunch.. Wow, Marche', $12 each, what a luxury!!!!!!!!
Kk, we deserve it, for practising so hard and making the school proud haha.. Still couldn't believe that Angklung, Guitar and Harmoc actually got Gold all the way this year... Thx to IP man!!!
We rawk!!!!!
Yeap, gtg and finish up my stoopid electrochem now... Bibo...

I love GOLD!!!!!

Oh man, GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, we deserve more than that!!!! After all this long practising so damn hard and suffering from constant finger pain!!!
Yes, we have made history again, a GOLD after dunno how many years, will see tmr then hahaha...
Yay thx everybody, guitar ppl, teachers-in-charge and Mr Toh for being so damn high these last few days, for giving me such a sacred moment, and for u guys are juz simply FABULOUS!!!!
Thx all the helpers and all my classmates for always cheering "jia you" for us... You guys are AWESOME!!!
Oh man, the moment I heard the results, I was screaming like mad.. A little bit sad becoz I had expected a GOLD WITH HONORS haha, but who cares, it's a GOLD and since we should always aim at something higher than what we can do.. At this point of time, I'm juz so excited becoz finally we r gonna stand proudly at the podium tmr morning, presenting our prize and all.. It's superb haha... Yay, presenting to you, NJC Guitar Group, GOLD...

This small message is especially dedicated to my dear junior.
Hey ya, I noe it's really hard to accept failure for the second time... What you are going through right now is completely understandable; I did fail a number of times and I did cry.. I was somehow very thoughtless when I told u not to be sad.. How can u not right? Once I got the news, I was totally stunned; I was trying to find a way to talk to u, but u came and... Plz cry if u want to becoz it helps.. U surely will feel better...
Well it was juz a small experience.. remember u r not losing, u r gaining more and more as time goes by in this "foreign" land.. And u didn't lose to someone like me, dun look at it that way, plz.. And sometimes, success juz doesn't come to those who need it.. Maybe u r destined to something greater, who knows...
So dun keep thinking that u r juz nothing but a loser okae.. U have potential n soon u r gonna show it, I'm sure.. A person who dares to fail and accept failure will become the most successful.. Dun believe? How much u wanna bet? :)

nice day!!!

Full dress rehearsal was so much fun today!!! Although it was a bit tiring, er duh, wearing entirely black what... But we were like at the peak today... Hahaha at first we didn't tune our guitars properly, so got scolded quite badly by Ms Ng.. OMG, muz see her face when we started playing menzz.. Damn funny.. But it was our fault anyway, took almost 1 hour to get inspiration and feelings and mood swing haha.. Then we went to practice at the atrium, I heard it was very good.. Yay, good, hope tmr it's gonna be better, the day after tmr will be even better and yup, on Thurs, PERFECT!! Guitar ppl are so damn fun, luv u guys all!!!

Hax I wanna wear that silver tie, damn cool man, though it's a little bit too big for me.. Hehe who cares, oh but I really don't mind NJ tie eh, we're surely gonna be a lot more outstanding haha.. Nah but the guys didn't want.. Wen Hao looked so funny today, with his girly black shirt and damn tight pants haha, I couldn't help laughing throughout the whole practice hahaha..

Erm I borrowed both from Phoebe and guess what, the shirt is damn big while the pants are a bit tight.. Does that mean..? Haha what am I talking about? Hahaha... Then my court shoes are so loose and I have to be the first to go out on the actual day... Arg ppl behind me today was like "Faster!!!" haha need to borrow phoebe's court shoes I guess... Thx mum :)

Well gotta go now for Ms Teh's birthday... I think I am the worst cluster captain ever... Since the day I was elected, I have done nothing useful for the cluster...Last week, I even forgot to clean my messy room for checking the next day.. Haiz.. Too busy I think... Nvm, gtg...

yay, IH rox !!!

Hmm, I am about to make the greatest announcement of all time...
Haha.. Thankew thankew.. I've juz finished my IH essay... And exceeded the word limit quite badly hax..
Bleah, is there really anything to be proud of? It's not that great man...
Haha IH sux.. Although this time, georg is much easier than humanities... Totally crap.. I even received a stupid strechy man from Mr Barber for being the winner of the population pyramid..
Hahaha lame...
Anyway, was juz trying to faster get over and done with it... I still have so much work to do...
Tmr is full dress rehearsal.. Come on NJ Guitar.. Get gold with honors..

boring sunday!!!

Oh man, I'm struggling with my IH essay...
I woke up at 10 +, then started the outline at 11 haha... Eat noodles along the way, that's why i didn't go down for lunch, hope it sux as usual..
Hmm, then dunno why suddenly I've been surfing the Net again hixhix..
Only finish part a and it's already 800 words.. Oh man, how am I gonna do part b which costs more marks with only 400 words argg... Kae, I don't feel like doing it.. I'll stop.. Er I think I've alr stopped 2 hours ago haha..
Nah, do my laundry first...

Haha dunno what has happened to me those last few days... Doing nothing much except playing with my new laptop ;) and the guitar.. Crap.. My IH essay is due on Mon, haha who cares!!!!

Oh yeah this morning was IP preview.. My task as a tour guide's damn fun man, at first Xin Yi and I were like "Oh no, we muz approach someone and talk", "Go Sally, go Xin Yi", haha it was only 10 by then, ppl need to register first.. Then we saw 3 ppl look lost.. We helped them to the registration table and sticked with them the whole morning.. They are damn nice ppl, always telling jokes and keep asking questions.. I was so damn high today, talk like mad.. Er actually, ask any of my classmates, they r gonna say i'm very sian recently.. Dunno whether the spelling is correct or not haha...

I juz found out something today.. And I'm glad it happens.. I have always thought of whether there's any reason and wonder how I'm gonna face it when it happens.. But it all came to me as a shock..
Well, i dunno what to say but it's good to hear that.. Thx, it gives me a reason to continue what I think I'm doing and live my life better.. You were once an important person in my life, no you still are though haha, but now everything is different.. Life does go on and things change..
All the best for u, and of course for me!!!!!

Gosh I know I haven't blogged for like almost a century... I was juz so pissed last time when I typed a freaking long blog about Asean Nite n it suddenly disappeared that I dun even wanna open my blog again..
Haiz I'm not in the mood to tell it all again but basically it was a great success n I never regret being one of the Asean Com members haha..
Hax now I am actually in a new mood.. (haha does my mood always swing :))).. I feel so slacked lately, as in I haven't been studying anything for the last few weeks.. Erm there's a reason for it of course.. SYF is coming argggggggg..
I think I'm like the lousiest in Guitar 1 lol.. Our group didn't win the prize due to my poor talent and techniques arggg.. And my fingertips are so painful...Probably becoz I pressed so hard that they keep peeling off now.. If I continue playing, they are gonna get worse and worse, and on the day of SYF itself, what muz come muz come.. Arg, sometimes I feel that we still have hope, the fragile hope to get gold or even gold with honors (hey I'm being serious)... But some other times, my hope fluctuates, it's kinda sad, but really, those were the times when our practices were juz as bad as the first time we played... 1 more week, everything is gonna be fine... Friday will be the day the whole school will surely know Guitar Club exists... Hoping...Wishing... Dun worry.. It will soon be over... Be confident... GO NJ GUITAR.. WE CAN GET GOLD..

GoOd FriDaY

Hax so long haven't blogged... :( Haha see, so lazy that I couldn't even get myself into the mood of writing anything... But today is different... There's sthg important that I need to talk about... It's today that I realize one thing, the one thing I dun wanna face at all, that I'm actually more mature than I thought.. Ms Teh knows that..

This is the first time I have shared such lots of thoughts to a person that I got to know in Singapore.. She has been a good and understanding CM, she knows what is good and what is bad for us... She has always helped us out and given us priceless advices... But I have seen something in her that resembles me, or actually a part of me... She's a workaholic type of person, as everybody can tell, we only see the lights in her room on twice or 3 times a week.. Sometimes when she's free she likes to walk around the cluster and see how things go with us, give us some advice or cheer us up, or even buy ice creams and pizzas for us.. Haha that's so nice of her.. Although she's a mature person, she's still very young, and (this is the important part), she always seems to be so childish, just to make others happy... Just like me.. I act stupidly sometimes, in front of many ppl, it's still me though.. But when I'm by myself or with one or 2 ppl, the sentimental part of me wins over and everything just pours out...

She invited me to her church today for a dance musical show... Err i didn't like this kind of church thing because it made me sick (now I still dunno whether this kind of thought is a sin), everything they do is try to persuade ppl into believing that God exists, that we should come to church, to their services... Well, I can't see the point u noe... What do they do that for, does God really exist, do they earn money from this kind of service??? I'm still on the way to find out all this...

After I finished reading Small Gods and watching this dance show, I have been able to understand something.. God creates Man, but for all this while, Man has been turning away from God, just like when ur parents give birth to u, they tell u to do this or that, but u don't follow them, that's when u have committed a sin... The pastor today also said that Jesus died on the cross to wash away Our sin and put on us some blood kind of thing.. Good Friday is the day that commemorates His death and what he had done to us... They said we have been so far away from Him and that's why it's time for us to stay near him and get His blessings.. Well I kinda understand what they are all thinking, because they believe in God.. But how can u believe in sth that u cannot see or touch... I thought Jesus didn't even exist, so how could he die? And most importantly, I wonder how they actually talk to God, or they are just simply talking to themselves... I have no evidences to believe in sth that is so not true... Same as when I was back home, when I heard my parents and uncles, aunties talking about LIFE up there or down there, about incarnation and all those things... My dad has actually told me that grandmum came back and talked to him, in his dream of course... Some of my uncles and aunts also dreamt such dreams and described the same thing, as in the way my grandma dressed and talked to them... Howcan I believe them while I'm not the one who experienced it??? But I could also not say that they were lying, becos.. why do they need to lie... It's more confusing than I thought...

Life has different kinds of things to expect.. And maybe it's different for each one of us... But I dun think it's God who arranged everything.. Success, fame, money, all this.. are what we are all pursuing, and that pastor said they're not as important as being close to God, since He will guide u, through darkness to a better place... Erm I dun agree with this.. Even though God can be omnipotent, omnipresent or even omniscient or whatever, what they were saying is impossible... Arg so confusing, well, they can just go and pray to their God the whole day lol...

I talked to her all the way back.. about my parents too.. suddenly feel proud of my parents than ever before, because they are the best and most important ppl in my life... They have brought me up the way that I am right now and I'm proud of that... I have never been short of anything, I'm always loved...

About me, I always feel tense when she asks me about myself.. In those situations, I always have a feeling that she's actually comparing me with someone I should not mention here... But I realize I'm different from that her, and I dun need to try to be someone that is not me... Noone is perfect and I'm proud to be me, not any other person... Staying overseas, especially in a dorm is such a cool experience, in a sense that u can observe other ppl's lives from ur point of view and u will try to learn sth good from them and u can actually combine their qualities that u think they're good to make them urs... And it's great that I'm doing it... I'm able to balance myself... I dun need to stand at the top of the mountain, looking down on everybody with a bitchy face, or right at the bottom to be able to get my scholarship terminated.. Haha.. All I need to do is enjoy myself while studying here, get to know more friends, and do whatever that gets me satisfied... But some ppl say it's better to make a change, u cannot always stand in the middle of the crowd and watch others move.. Well as if I don't... I always change and I can feel deep down inside that something is different in me everyday, that I'm changing and making a difference... Only I am able to see it.. Just like God haha.. I cannot tell u when but one day, I will show u...

We finished the lesson at around 10.30.. And since the side gate was not open until 1pm, so I decided to stay around in school until then.. Ehem, but what happened was that my senior wanted me to wait for her coz she needed to do some spiral spiral kind of thing for the maths notice board (erm Maths Society president mah).. At first, I was just hanging around the school, going to library, doing maths (arg, I can't even do one question, I'm so pissed), drinking bubble tea (haha, so nice), watching the councillors prepare for the next orientation (er..), and watching the MS ppl doing their watever decorations.. Then dunno why I suddenly suggested sth to them and decided to help them paint and all... Oh my gosh, I have spent these 3 days painting and painting all the time.. It's fun though, but tiring.. I wanted to go back at 1pm but then it turned out to be almost 6... Hoho!!! Forgot to bring my money (50 bucks which is in my pants' pocket), haven't eaten lunch n have had enough of all this painting stuff...

Erm went to ACSI with Tu today to do the banner... Haha guess what, we bought 3 cans of paints, of course different colors, red, yellow and silver, juz becoz there's no orange... At first we thought it's kinda stupid, but once we put these 2 colors on the banner with 3 different shades, haha, it looked so damn nice... Then we created different styles for each letter... Wow painting is fun man, especially when u say it sux while u're painting and just keep on swinging the brush to and fro like sweeping the floor like that, BUT haha what ur gonna say after that is the thing that counts: My god, I can't believe I actually did this... Haha I went for a painting class before, in primary school I think... Spending every Sun at my teacher's house with some of my best friends, using paints and all for free, haha that period of time was.. great.. :( This makes me kinda miss all my primary-school playmates :(( and my vice-prefect... Hehe for such a long time I haven't got any news from him... I hadn't even known he was in the same high school with me until like some months before I left for S'pore... But I also haven't seen him face to face since primary school.. Haha.. What a friend I am! Hax can't believe I can comfortably sit here, reminiscing about the past.. Haha wonder whether he also does that, at times, and whether he still has some memories about the girl who has the same last name as his :) My prefect! :p
Aiya forget it.. Good to have some time to think abt the past, but not too much ;))..
Oh Matt bought the same T-shirt as mine, from the same shop at the same shopping center muahaha, copycat!!! Erm same kind, same color (yellow) but different designs I mean.. Oh but unlucky for him, the design is the same as Van's but the color is different haha, needless to say...
Yeah yeah erm erm I'm sleepy already... What day is today? Oh no, Tuesday!! Only 5 days left... What should I do now? Huh huh huh? Scary!!! Nvm, sleep first...

March Holiday..

I'm so bored... I wanna go out!!!!
In fact, I did, for the last two days... Wow, we, as in my juniors, Van and I, went to have lunch at marche on Saturday... We ate and ate and ate for like 2 hours and ended up paying around $20 per person.. Arg, I muz admit that it's really a nice place to eat and relax, but to go there every weekend is such a crazy idea... I wonder how rich the Choir ppl are... Haha... I can't believe I actually spent almost 1oo bucks that day... I had my hair cut at Heerens, which cost me $29, plus all the junk food that I bought, and some T-shirts too.. Haha I told Lynette I would surely spend like $100 during the whole holiday, but who knew that after only 1 day, I have almost exceeded that number... Wa lao, I need to save money... I desperately wanna go back this summer.. My two best friends are coming back from US and UK.. If I go back, I will be able to meet them and my other two bestest friends in VN... BUT... Such a big but.. My mom and my bro wanna come to Singapore this June... This is really a rare occasion, coz next year my bro is gonna have some kind of secondary graduation exam, like O-level here.. Then next next year will be my turn... A level... Arg, it sounds so depressing... I wonder what I'll become n how I am gonna survive that year.. Hax look at all my seniors' A-level results, can u believe that I am actually their junior... I think there was something wrong with the 2 ppl who picked me to NJIP the other day... Haha I have neither talent nor consistency, I prefer slacking to studying and I have no leadership quality... HOHOHO I was the fifth person to be interviewed, they shouldn't have been so sleepy, should they?? Haha anyway, glad that I came to this programme, because all the stuff that I have learnt here are actually quite new to me, not like in any other secondary schools' boring modules... And since there's no O-level, there hasn't been any real stress and pressure, yet :))...