hello

hello I'm back.. after all those weeks I had to suffer.. but I went through them all.. I knew I could do it.. and I was right... no matter what they say.. no matter what they think about me.. whether I'm "blur" or such a coward or whatever, it's up to them... I know my own self more than anyone else in this world.. but when there's something gained, something else is lost.. that's true.. all those efficiency, responsibility... for nothing.. exhausted.. suffer from insomnia.. problems with best frenz.. classmates become more and more irritating :((.. inferior... lost... was my decision to come here a good choice, I'm still trying to find the answer.. then they say that I am a directionless person, I'm a whatever freak, I never think when I say something.. well come on, juz leave me alone.. mind ur own business.. I need more time.. those words are not gonna work it out for me.. only make me feel depressed even more.. wanna see my mom so badly.. wanna talk to her more than ever before.. but I'm scared I'll break down in front of her.. for the second time.. remind me of last year.. december.. it was raining outside.. and she sat stunned, staring at me.. I really dun want that moment to happen again.. but noone else wanna listen to me anymore..

"In The End"

(It starts with)
One thing, I don ’ t know why
It doesn ’ t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn ’ t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn ' t even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn ’ t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn ’ t even matter